Harry's Involuntary Makeover
by Sykoticstalker27
Summary: Oneshot! Evil, makeup filled Chaos ensues for poor, unsuspecting Harry when Hermione invites him to spend the day with her and the other girls of Hogwarts. How was he supposed to know his friend had a secret sadistic streak?


Disclaimer: I offered J.K. Rowling $20 for the rights to Harry Potter, but she said no. (can't imagine why) Therefore I don't own Harry Potter, the wizarding world, Hogwarts, or anything else you might recognize. I do, however, own the plot of this fic.(not that that's saying very much)

Summary: Professor McGonagall was walking down to the Great Hall when she heard loud, uproarious laughter coming from the Room of Requirement. Curiously she opened the door and was greeted by Harry Potter who had been stuffed into a dress and his face had been caked in several layers makeup. Read about what happened when Harry spent the day with the girls of Hogwarts.

Harry: you evil, evil woman.

Author: I know. cackles

Harry: slowly backs away

Author: Now on with the fic!

How Bad Could It Be?

by: Sykoticstalker27

Harry Potter was bored. He was the only in the entire sixth year Gryffindor dorms who had not come down with a horrible and highly contagious case of the dragon pox. It seemed that while Harry was serving detention for coloring Professor Snape's robes bright purple and dying his hair bright blonde, (which made Snape look like a demented version of Lockhart) the other Gryffindor boys had gone out for an impromptu game of quidditch and had been throughly drenched in a freezing rain. The next day they were all sniffling, coughing, and sneezing, but wanting to avoid a lecture from the overbearing Madame Profrey, the boys had avoided going to the hospital wing until they had sprouted horns, developed purple spots, and started shooting out balls of fire from their mouths. Harry had been checked and had luckily avoided being contaminated, however he was now completely alone until Snape could finish making the dragon pox remedies, which took more than a week to brew. Harry privately thought the man was purposely taking as much time as possible.

Harry sighed and decided to go look in the library for Hermione. He found her there poring over a large tome as usual.

"Hey, Hermione" Harry sighed as he dropped into a seat next to her. Hermione looked up and smiled.

"Hello, Harry. What are doing here? I thought you had already finished your homework." In a fit of absolute boredom Harry had done all his homework as well as several assignments that weren't due for another couple weeks.

"I did. I am just so bored. There's nothing to do. No quidditch practice, no homework, and I can't play chess or exploding snap with Ron like I'd normally do." Harry pouted. Hermione looked up at her friend and smiled at the cute puppy face he was making.

"Well, I hang out with you, Harry, but I'm spending the day with Lavender, Parvati, Ginny, and a few other girls. In fact," Hermione looked down at her watch. "I'm meeting them in a few minutes." Hermione began shoving things into her bag.

"Oh." Harry said sounding very put out. "Well, that's okay. Maybe I can redo my potion's essay or something." He muttered in a despondent voice.

"Well, perhaps you could join us." Hermione said thoughtfully. "But you'd be the only boy. It might be uncomfortable." Harry shrugged.

"I don't mind. Anything is better than just sitting around by myself all day." Harry and Hermione walked out of the library and was surprised when saw that Hermione was going in a different direction than the Gryffindor tower.

"Hey, Hermione, where are we going?" Harry asked.

"We're going to the Room of Requirement, because Padma, Parvati's sister, and some of her friends are coming and aren't allowed into our common room." Harry nodded in understanding.

They walked up to the door of the Room of Requirement and Hermione knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Came Parvati's voice.

"It's Hermione and I brought a guest."

"That's okay. The more the merrier!" The door swung open.

"Hey, Hermione and- oh my! Hello there Harry!" Parvati greeted the pair. Hermione smiled.

"Hope you don't mind that I brought him. He's all alone what with the other boys being sick." Parvati nodded.

"Of course I don't mind, poor baby." She cooed at Harry, who blushed lightly. Parvati led them into the room which looked a lot like the Gryffindor common room except that there were only a few short tables and lots of small cushy chairs and beanbags littering the floor instead of the usual homework tables and chairs. The wall were a soft baby blue, and he could feel a thick, soft carpet under his feet.

Ginny was sitting in a beanbag with one of her feet propped up on the table and was painting her toenails a soft pink color. Luna Lovegood was having her tea leaves read by Lavender at another table. Padma Patil was standing by a floor- length mirror and putting curlers in her hair, however, they all turned to look at the trio entering the room. Harry was uncomfortably aware that all seemed to be focusing on him.

Harry swallowed nervously. There was nothing to be afraid of. These were girls he saw every day. There was reason to be nervous, after all, how bad could it be?

Parvati smiled. "Everyone, Harry will be joining us for the day since he's the only sixth year boy left in Gryffindor."

The girls nodded. They remembered hearing about the recent outbreak of dragon pox in the Gryffindor dorms.

"Hermione, Harry, why don't you two come sit over here?" Ginny gestured to a couple of large cushions next to her. Hermione smiled and made her way over with Harry trailing behind her.

"What color would you like you toenails?" Ginny asked.

Hermione thought for a moment.

"Red please. It will go with my fingernails." Hermione held up her red-tipped fingers.

Ginny nodded.

"What about you, Harry?"

Harry was about to say he liked his toenails the way they were thank you very much, but Hermione interrupted him.

"I think a nice blue would go well with his skin tone."

Ginny nodded.

"Blue it is then."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Harry cut in. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"Oh! sorry, Harry!" Ginny apologized. Harry breathed a sigh in relief.

"What color do you want?" She asked.

" I don't want my toenails painted any color! Painting nails is for girls."

"Um, incase you forgot, we are girls, and no one will see them unless you routinely go running around without your shoes on."

"Well, incase _you_ forgot, _I'm_ a guy, and guys don't get their nails painted."

"Oh, come on, Harry. You wanted to spend the day with us, and it's not like anyone will know." Hermione wheedled.

"Please, Harry." Ginny gave him the puppy eyes.

Harry sighed.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but okay."

Ginny and Hermione beamed.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" Ginny asked.

Before Harry could say anything, Hermione spoke up.

"Harry can go, since Lavender said that she wanted to do my hair and she's finished predicting Luna's future."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but knew better than to criticize divination while in the same room as Lavender Brown or Parvati Patil.

"Alright, Harry, what color would you like your nails?"

"I thought you were going to paint them blue."

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Harry, there's more than one kind of blue, especially when it comes to nail polish . There's sky blue, baby blue, midnight blue, periwinkle, navy blue, green blue, blue green, aqua, sapphire, cerulean, azure, lazuline, blue chrome, sparkling blue, dark, almost black blue, light, nearly white blue, royal blue, ocean blue, ice blue, Prussian blue, iron blue, crystal blue, turquoise, blue bell, blue violet, beryl, cobalt, indigo, teal, ultramarine, blueberry, neon blue, steel blue, blue grey, grey blue, robin's egg blue, cadet blue, Pacific blue, manatee, cornflower, denim, and wild blue yonder."

Harry's head was spinning. Why anyone would make or buy so many different variations of one color just to decorate their toenails or fingernails was beyond him. He'd never understand women. Harry sighed and picked up a bottle of dark blue polish. Ginny inspected his choice.

"Ah, midnight blue. Good choice. Now pull off your shoes and put your feet on the table."

Harry considered leaving his socks on as a joke, but he wouldn't put past Ginny to paint his fingernails in retribution if he did.

"Awww! Harry, you have such cute little toes!" Ginny cooed when she saw his feet and than began to tickle his foot.

Harry blushed and jerked his foot back. "Stop that, Ginny, it tickles."

Ginny grinned. "That's the point." She seized his foot again and began to tickle it mercilessly.

"Ginny! Stop it!" Harry cried out between his laughter.

"Is little Harry ticklish?" Ginny asked with an evil grin.

"Yes! Now stop it!" Ginny continued her tickling while Harry pleaded with to stop between fits of laughter.

"Come on, Gin. I think he's had enough." Hermione called from across the room.

"Okay." She pouted and reluctantly released Harry's poor, tormented foot.

"If you think I'm trusting you with my foot now then you're crazy."

"Oh, come on, Harry. It's not my fault you have such cute, little feet." Ginny grinned at her friend's flushed face.

"And if you don't give me your foot, I'll paint your fingernails too, and I'll make sure it's a nice pink color."

Harry paled and surrendered his foot, grumbling about evil, foot-torturing women.

"Great!" Ginny grinned and began decorating his toenails. Harry sighed and cast another look around the room.

Luna was painting each of her fingernails a different color, so far she had a red, green, blue, orange, black, and one striped purple and pink nail. Harry shook his head with a small, amused smile. Luna always had been rather unique. Padma was now pulling the curlers out of her hair, and Lavender was braiding several strands of Hermione's hair. Parvati was using what looked like a black pencil to outline her eyes, and Ginny had started on Harry's other foot.

"Alright, Harry, now you need to wait a few minutes it for it to dry."

Harry nodded and watched as Ginny looked around thoughtfully before muttering something too soft for him to hear.

He startled when a large box materialized next to her. She had obviously asked the room for something.

"What's in the box?" Harry asked curiously.

Ginny grinned evilly, an action that did not bode well with Harry.

"You'll see." She replied mysteriously.

Harry's feeling of unease doubled.

Ginny leaned over and whispered something to Hermione, who mimicked Ginny's evil grin and leaned over to whisper something to Parvati. Parvati muttered something to Padma, who walked over and whispered something to Luna.

_I'm doomed._

Were the first words that came to mind when Harry noticed the decidedly wicked expressions all the girls (barring Luna, who looked lost in her thoughts and vaguely amused) were wearing. Harry swallowed nervously.

Hermione opened up the box and began to dig through it. She emerged triumphantly holding a long piece of blue cloth in her hands.

The six girls talked briefly amongst themselves before Lavender approached Harry with a far too innocent smile.

"Hey, Harry, could I try on your glasses?"

Harry blinked. He hadn't been expecting that.

"What?"

"Well, I've been having trouble reading the board in class and I might need glasses, so I want to borrow yours and see how I'd look in them."

"Um, alright then." Harry pulled off his glasses and handed them to the Lavender-shaped blur in front of him.

Several girls chuckled at how silly Lavender looked in Harry's large, round glasses.

Hermione took advantage of Harry's temporary sight impairment to sneak up behind him and pull the blue dress she had been holding over his head.

Harry spluttered, but could not remove the dress as it was pinning his arms to his sides. He felt himself being pushed in one direction and someone put his glasses back on his face. Harry found himself in front of the floor length mirror. He was wearing a long, simple dress with a skirt that reached the floor. The girls whistled and catcalled as Harry stared at his reflection is horror. Even Hermione was saying that the dress went well with toenails and skin tone.

_"Some friend she is." _Harry grumbled to himself and tried to get out the dress.

"Here, Harry, let me help you." Hermione said as she pulled out her wand.

"_Finally._" Harry thought.

Hermione brought down her wand, but instead of the dress being removed, he felt his robe, tee shirt, and jeans disappear form beneath the dress.

"Hermione!" Harry cried, now only wearing a dress and boxers.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Harry. Here let me fix it."

With another wave, Harry's feet were now incased in a pair of dressy, high-heeled sandals that showed off his blue toenails.

"Hermione." Harry growled dangerously.

"Oh lighten up, Harry." Harry had never thought he'd hear those words coming from Hermione Granger.

"I'll change it back before you leave. Now help me pick out a nice dress."

Hermione dragged her poor friend to the box she had pulled his dress out of. Harry grumbled but followed, not wanting Hermione's pulling on his arm make him fall over his tall shoes.

Harry glanced into the box and spotted something silky and red.

"How about this?" he asked, holding up the dress. Hermione looked the dress over and nodded in approval.

"Good choice, Harry, and it's in a nice Gryffindor red too. Hermione waved her wand and her robes disappeared to be replaced by the dress. It was a simple, but lovely dress that came down to her knees and had spaghetti strap sleeves. She was also wearing a pair of red sandal-like dress shoes. Hermione smiled and walked back to the mirror. Smiling at her reflection, she began to apply eyeshadow.

Luna was wearing a black cocktail dress and pair black dress shoes and was using a spell to lengthen her eyelashes magically. Lavender had found a bright, flowery dress with a matching hat and shoes and was now applying some light lipstick. Padma has found a lovely, white floor-length gown, and Parvati found a soft pink dress that stopped at her ankles.

"Hey, Harry," Hermione called while holding up a tube of lipstick. "I think this is your color."

Harry eyed his friend warily._ She wouldn't. Would she?_

He noticed the evil glint in his friend's eye. _She would._

"Oh no. I am not wearing makeup. You can just put that lipstick back." Harry began to back away slowly, trying not to trip over his high-heeled shoes, while Hermione advanced with an uncharacteristically evil grin.

Harry was too busy watching Hermione to see Padma sneaking up behind him.

"Come on, Harry." Hermione wheedled. "You're already in the dress and shoes. How can a much worse can a bit of rouge be?"

Parvati, Lavender, Ginny, and Luna helped make a circle around Harry.

Harry nervously glanced around. He was surrounded on all sides. He briefly considered making a break for the door, but he doubted he could far in the shoes he was wearing. Sighing, Harry threw his arms up in surrender.

"Oh alright! Fine! But what happened to me in here never leaves this room, okay?"

To his relief, all the girls nodded in agreement.

"Of course, Harry." Hermione assured her friend. "Now hold still so I don't get lipstick on your teeth."

Harry sighed but held still.

Ginny and Lavender were digging through the large box which Harry had silently dubbed the "Box of Torture."

"Ah, here we go." Ginny said holding up a container of blue powder.

"Close your eyes, Harry." Ginny ordered as she held up the little powder-covered brush to his eyes.

Harry resignedly closed his eyes and let Ginny apply the eyeshadow while Lavender applied mascara to his eyelashes.

He didn't even bother to protest when Padma and Luna began rolling curlers in his hair.

Hermione stepped back to survey their work and decided that her friend could use some rouge for his cheeks, so she began digging around in the "Box of Torture" looking for some blusher.

"Hold still for a minute, Harry." Hermione ordered as she began dusting the boy's cheeks.

Harry muttered darkly under his breath but obliged with his friend's request.

Hermione pulled back and studied her friend.

"Something's missing." she muttered, surveying her friend's appearance.

The other girls started to circle Harry, trying to find what was wrong with his appearance.

Harry couldn't help but feel a bit like some sort of ritualistic human sacrifice. He off-handily wondered if they were planning on throwing him into the pit of a volcano as a gift to some sort of god. Perhaps he should stop watching the history channel at the Dursley's; it was giving him strange thoughts.

"Oh I know!" Ginny exclaimed, pulling Harry out of his thoughts. His chest is too flat for that dress and it's hanging off him wrong. The other girls nodded.

"Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no! Absolutely not! I let you cover me in makeup and put me in dress, but you are not going to be stuffing my top!" Harry crossed his hands protectively over his chest.

"Oh please, Harry!" Hermione gave him the puppy eyes, an that was quickly copied by all the other girls in the room.

Harry groaned. This was unfair! They were playing dirty! No guy could resist that many sad female faces.

"Oh for the love of-! Fine! Just stop giving me those looks!"

Grins quickly replaced the previous sad expressions.

"Here maybe these will work." Luna handed Harry two oranges.

Harry sighed, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

He shivered. "Where'd these come from? They're freezing!"

Luna shrugged. I guess the room thought I going to eat them when I asked for them.

"Hey, Harry, strut your stuff!" Parvati cat-called.

"Yeah, give us a show!" Padma called.

Harry shrugged; he may as well. With that thought in mind Harry did an overly exaggerated strut down an imaginary catwalk. The girls cheered, whistled, and cat-called. Not realizing how much noise they were making.

Professor McGonagall had finished lunch and decided to enjoy the rare peace that had settled around the school by talking a walk around castle while hopefully avoiding the headmaster or any students that might disturb her rare moment of peace, however, the quiet was disrupted by what sounded like loud shrieking only a corridor away.

She quickened her pace and found herself in front of the room of requirement. Apprehensively she turned the doorknob, but nothing could have prepared her for what she saw on the other side.

Harry had been having rather a lot of fun parading around in front of the girls.

"Woo! Take it off!" some one yelled facetiously.

Harry adopted an offended look.

"Well, I never!" He exclaimed in high-pitched voice acting indignant.

This just made the girls laugh harder. In fact, they were so distracted that it took them a minuted to realize the door had been opened and that Professor McGonagall was standing there with a look of utter shock on her face.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!"

Everyone froze.

"Oh...um..hello, Professor McGonagall. How are you today?" Hermione stuttered nervously.

McGonagall swallowed and took a deep breath and then in a calmer voice asked again, "What is going on here?"

"Um, well you see, Professor, we were just...um." Harry faltered not knowing quite what to say.

Professor McGonagall turned to Harry and her eyes widened behind her glasses.

"Mr. Potter, is that you?" she asked as if she couldn't quite believe her eyes.

"Um..well, yes-" the rest of what he was going to say was cut off by one of the oranges in his shirt falling down through his dress and rolling out under his skirt where it rolled over to the Professor's foot.

Harry flushed brightly.

Professor McGongall stared at the orange for a moment then looked at Harry. She shook her head slowly.

"I don't want to know. I just don't want to know. I'll see you in class on Tuesday." With that, she backed out the room, shut the door, and all but ran to the teachers' lounge where Professor Snape was grading his essays.

Snape looked up when she strode in the room and his eyebrows flew up in surprise when she went straight to the liquor cabinet, pulled out a bottle of firewhiskey, and took a swig straight from the bottle.

Snape opened his mouth to either ask a question or make a comment, but she held her hand to stop him.

"Don't, Severus, just don't say anything."

Snape still looked curious, but seemed to decide that aggravating the transfiguration professor at the moment would be dangerous to his health.

Back in the room of requirement, everyone had recovered from their surprise and were laughing uproariously.

"Oh God! The look on her face!" Lavender choked out.

Even Hermione couldn't keep from laughing.

"And when the orange fell out of Harry's dress!" Ginny cackled.

"Don't remind me." Harry groaned, torn between embarrassment and amusement.

"Come on, get me out of this dress and lets go to dinner. I think it'll do Professor McGonagall some good if she sees me dressed like a boy again."

The girls nodded in agreement and everyone changed back into thier regular school apparel.

At the dinner table, Professor McGonagall was relived to see that Harry was indeed back in normal clothes and relaxed subtlety in her chair.

Professor Dumbledore was worried about his transfiguration professor. She seemed very on edge, and the headmaster was relieved when she relaxed slightly in her seat next to him.

"Something bothering you, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked.

Professor McGonagall shook her head.

"No, Albus. I'm fine."

The headmaster eyed her skeptically, clearing not believing her, but let it go, knowing she'd come to him if it were something serious.

Dinner cleared to be replaced by dessert.

Dumbledore, reached over to fruit platter and politely asked McGonagall if she would like something from. She just nodded distractedly.

"Here you are, Minerva." Dumbledore cheerfully handed her an orange."

The professor took one look at the fruit in her hand, then realizing what it was, shrieked and dropped it as if it were a large, poisonous spider.

"Excuse me, Albus. I need a drink." Albus watched with bemusement as she strode out of the room. He shook his head in confustion and then noticed with some curiosity that several of the sixth year girls were laughing rather hysterically while Harry seemed to torn between snickering in amusement and blushing with embarrassment.

The headmaster just shook his head and decided he was better off not knowing.

THE END

Harry: I hate you.

Author: Now, Harry, hate is a rather strong word.

Harry: You put me in a dress, covered me with makeup, and stuffed fruit into my shirt!

Author: Yeah, but you got to spend the day with a bunch of pretty, teenage girls.

Harry: Well, I suppose that's true. But did you really have to put me in a dress?

Author: Oh, quit whining. I could've had Hermione take pictures of you like that and post them around the Slytherin common room.

Harry: pales dramatically I stand by what I said before. You evil, evil woman.

Author: I know. maniacal grin

Harry: sneaking out the window

Author: Drat! I knew I should've locked that window. shrugs Oh well, I've still got Snape locked in the closet.

banging sounds from closet door

Snape: Let me out of here you foul, muggle woman!

Author: Sorry, can't hear you! Now if you're cool you'll review my fic! So please review, you wonderful readers you!


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